While I work on that, you can always take the opportunity to check us (read: me) out if you haven’t yet. You can find us right here.
Stage 1: Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
Stage 2: Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horse’s neck. Ride until sundown.
Stage 3: Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
Sta[ge 4: Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.
Stage 5: Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.
Stage 6: Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, “You again?” Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isn’t that noticeable. Promise husband you’ll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.
Stage 7: Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you don’t see husband roll his eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.
Stage 8: Go to see horse. Momentarily consider riding but remember arthritis won’t let you lift leg high enough to reach stirrup — even when on mounting block. Share beer with grateful horse & recall “good old days”.
I don’t want to live to see stage 8.
You can find my growing horsemanship blog, Tumblr Horsemanship, here.
I will be talking about my infallible-to-date method of catching any horse who does not want to be comfortably and easily caught, if anybody is interested.
“They say in riding schools
They have a regular book of rules.
The man who wrote the book explains
The way to sit and hold your reins.
Another lesson fact reveals
About your elbows and your heels.
You read and practice, then decide
If you have really learned to ride.
The cowman doesn’t give a care
How you ride, just so you’re there,
Nor how you hold your hands and feet.
The main thing is to hold your seat.
You can learn more from a bucking hoss
Than any school you come across
For you and him will soon decide
What’s underneath each other’s hide.”
Written by late, great horseman, Tom Dorrance.
I have to be honest about how corny I am and how emotional I get when it comes to horses, every time I read or hear this it brings a tear to my eye. It’s spoken to me from the first time I heard it.
Those who know me well may know of my deep love of naughty, bucking horses. I also almost completely lack formal training, to be honest, lol…but anyway. It’s incredible how much a good “bad” horse can teach you. Don’t ever underestimate that.
So, I’ve decided that I want to get this painted out on the walls of my future barn. I just thought I’d share.